Could I have been a better girlfriend? Yes. Could I have put more effort and time into our relationship? Yes. Could I have progressed at a quicker pace with him instead of keeping him at arm length? Yes. Could I have brought him into my family and actually made our talks/dreams a reality? Yes. Could … Continue reading Today, I Dumped My Boyfriend 💔
The question is designed to shed light on the negative consequences the patient *perceives* should occur within their family unit should the patient stop their self-destructive behaviours. I’ve personally never been asked this question, yet I have spent time ruminating on the question. What *would* happen if I suddenly got well, and stayed well? Nothing. … Continue reading What Would Happen If I Could Wave a Magic Wand and You Suddenly Got Better and Stayed Better? Alfred Adler’s Magical Question.
It’s when you’ve had a lot going on, are overwhelmed, and the tiniest thing tips you over the edge. It’s when you’re on your last nerve, and accidentally type your PIN number wrong in the shop, and you switch from polite conversation to lashing out, with zero control over the words that leave your mouth. … Continue reading What Is A BPD Meltdown?
Title is pretty self-explanatory really. My relationships have always been one-sided. I have always put their needs above my own, and I have always felt intense guilt and as though I am selfish when I say “no” and decide to put myself first. Sometimes, they actually call me selfish and make me feel as though … Continue reading Hi. I’m Rubes, and I’m codependent 😌
Christmas is stressful, whether you live with a mental health condition or not. Winter can be difficult for many, and lots of people experience loneliness, isolation and stress, so here’s 5 tips on how to manage your mental health and well-being over the holidays... 1.) Stay connected. Sometimes, the last thing I want to do … Continue reading Managing Your Mental Health This Christmas 🎄
It’s a minefield. I’m very black and white. I’m not subtle in the least. I’m brutally and detrimentally honest. I can’t play mind games. I can’t fake how I feel. I can’t hide what I feel. I can’t pretend to enjoy things I don’t. I have no filter. I wear masks. I script conversations, and … Continue reading Dating With BPD 🤦♀️
I find it hard to relate to almost everyone. I feel like an alien wearing a human suit, reading from a script. I told my boyfriend I had writers block now I was entering recovery, and that I wasn't sure how to write now my mental health was stabilising. He said, "I don't know how … Continue reading How Do You Explain BPD To Someone?
I’ve had people tell me I’m beyond recovery. I’ve had people blame every emotion I have on eupd/bpd. I’ve had people turn a harassment case into an attack on my mental stability because they didn’t see what I saw. Having read my notes, I’ve always been very low-scale bpd. Even when at my worst. My … Continue reading Recovery To Me Is No Longer Having Enough Symptoms To Qualify For Diagnosis 😌
In both autism and bpd, the amygdala is hyperactive which leads to communicative and emotional diversities. Both have a dysfunctional Hippocampus. Both have abnormal cortisol levels thanks to the Hypothalamic-pituary-adrenal axis. Both have an ineffective Prefrontal Cortex. People with both disorders will present in childhood, though they say bpd is developmental whereas you’re born with … Continue reading Please Tell Me If You Enjoy My Lessons 😂
BPD Awareness Month is almost over. But the conversation isn’t. I live with BPD day in, day out, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, 365 days a year. BPD awareness doesn’t end for me. It controls my life. It is my life. Please take a moment to research borderline personality disorder. We’re largely … Continue reading We Have Our Own Month! 😍