Recovery to me is…

Part of recovery for me has been learning to identify and avoid triggers. When I feel pressured, I get BPD rage, and it’s like a HULK! SMASH! moment. I don’t like BPD rage. It’s really destructive. I don’t like who I am when I rage out. It’s my least favourite BPD emotion, next to guilt. … Continue reading Recovery to me is…

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Recovery To Me Is No Longer Having Enough Symptoms To Qualify For Diagnosis 😌

I’ve had people tell me I’m beyond recovery. I’ve had people blame every emotion I have on eupd/bpd. I’ve had people turn a harassment case into an attack on my mental stability because they didn’t see what I saw. Having read my notes, I’ve always been very low-scale bpd. Even when at my worst. My … Continue reading Recovery To Me Is No Longer Having Enough Symptoms To Qualify For Diagnosis 😌

Please Tell Me If You Enjoy My Lessons 😂

In both autism and bpd, the amygdala is hyperactive which leads to communicative and emotional diversities. Both have a dysfunctional Hippocampus. Both have abnormal cortisol levels thanks to the Hypothalamic-pituary-adrenal axis. Both have an ineffective Prefrontal Cortex. People with both disorders will present in childhood, though they say bpd is developmental whereas you’re born with … Continue reading Please Tell Me If You Enjoy My Lessons 😂

My Mum, My Very Best Friend, My Biggest Champion, Past Away in June, 2018 😞

Your death doesn’t feel real. It feels like you’re still in hospital, with hope of recovery. It’s just another health scare that you’ll pull through, because that’s what you do. You get rushed to hospital. I worry. I cry. I miss the gaping space you filled up, I miss us chatting complete and utter bullshit, … Continue reading My Mum, My Very Best Friend, My Biggest Champion, Past Away in June, 2018 😞

Everyone Has Some Kind Of “Coming Out” Story To Tell… 😇

This is mine. Facebook. August, 2017. It's been a long battle, where I felt like I'd almost completely lost my sanity, but today I got officially diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (bpd) and bipolar type 2. I feel like a weight has been lifted. Bpd is very stigmatised and misunderstood so let me clear a … Continue reading Everyone Has Some Kind Of “Coming Out” Story To Tell… 😇

Can’t Have BPD Without Symptoms, Right? 😉

Moods shift so suddenly, you don’t know if you’re coming or going. You love someone, but the slightest separation or argument can make you hate them, feeling as though they’ve “gone off” you. That’s splitting, where you go from idealisation to devaluation in the blink of an eye. The 9 symptoms of BPD are (you … Continue reading Can’t Have BPD Without Symptoms, Right? 😉