In both autism and bpd, the amygdala is hyperactive which leads to communicative and emotional diversities. Both have a dysfunctional Hippocampus. Both have abnormal cortisol levels thanks to the Hypothalamic-pituary-adrenal axis. Both have an ineffective Prefrontal Cortex. People with both disorders will present in childhood, though they say bpd is developmental whereas you’re born with asd. They however haven’t managed to prove that theory. This in all likelihood is based on the fact around 80% of those with bpd suffered emotional trauma in early childhood and infancy. However some studies also show those with asd were at increased risk of exposure to trauma. It is entirely possible borderlines were born not made. So why is one a stigmatised mental illness and the other a neurodevelopment condition? On top of that, there’s a massive correlation between asd children being born to bpd parents, and the sheer amount of asd females being diagnosed after a misdiagnosis of borderline personality disorder. I think it’s utterly fascinating.
I’m depressed again, and have zero motivation. I’m eating crap, gaining weight, and the outside scares me.
I miss my mum. I read our texts the other night, and it made me realise just how much I miss her. I’m crying lots over it.
It’s 15 weeks since she died and it doesn’t get easier. Every day that passes is just a day further from when I last saw her face. I want to touch her hand, feel her fingers wrap round mine. Feel her lips on my forehead. Hear her voice.
A piece of me died with her.
I don’t even try to be strong.