It’s finally sunk in that I’ve lost everything. That my mum isn’t coming back. That I’ll never sleep in my room at her’s again. How can I enjoy life without my mum in it? I’ve lost my biggest champion and my biggest enabler, my best friend and my confidant, I’ve lost my absolute favourite person in the universe (bar my kids). I still can’t bring myself to read her texts. 10 unread messages, because she hadn’t realised I’d uninstalled the app. Voicemails I can’t bring myself to listen to in case it’s her voice. Everything is grey. I’m heart broken. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. This pain. It’s unreal. 6 weeks today. They rang me around ten at night. I’ve never sobbed that hard in my life. I just want her back.